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Married, Single, Searching...

Posted: November 07, 2011 by James Harvey

My good friend Rankin Wilburn preached one of the best messages I have heard on relationships in a long time. If you are married, listen and be humbled and encouraged. If you are single, listen, be encouraged and don't believe the myths that are often put forward regarding singleness. If you have children who are entereing into adolescence, listen and consider listening with them. Here is the link to the sermon, entitled Commitment Phobia.

Toward the end of this sermon Rankin quotes from an essay by Page Benton Brown which highlights some of the wrong thinking that exists in the church when it comes to singleness. The whole essay can be found here. Here is an excerpt:

Warped theology is at the heart of attempts to "explain" singleness:

"As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, he’ll bring someone special into your life”—as though God’s blessings are ever earned by our contentment. "You’re too picky”—as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work. "As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord’s work”—as though God requires emotional martyrs to do his work, of which marriage must be no part. "Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful"—as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified. Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single, The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me.